Anxiety
Surrounded by crushing darkness every moment of every day.
A Battle with Anxiety
Surrounded by crushing darkness every moment of every day. Forced to spend every ounce of energy on simply being while desperately grasping to connect to life happening all around and, with great regret, passing by. Every sound, sensation, word, flooding in with debilitating panic. Suffocating inside myself. Death beating on the door leaving behind extreme mental and physical exhaustion. Desperate to live and stop simply surviving. This is a small glimpse into the anxiety and panic I have battled with.
Understanding Anxiety
One cannot truly understand anxiety unless they have experienced it in some form. Life happens around you while you are forced to remain focused on putting one foot in front of the other. From the outside it seems so simple as if someone could choose another thought or feeling. Someone who doesn’t understand and wants to help may suggest that you just relax or tell you, “don’t worry it will all be okay”. If only we could not worry and believe everything would be okay.
Surviving Anxiety
I have discovered that while we are chained to looking in to survive there is an alternate existence that seems unattainable.
It is there just waiting for us to be ready, when we can finally look out to LIVE life.
I remain immensely thankful for every bit of support I receive while feeling like a burden. I have felt so weak and helpless. Finally, coming to the realization that I may feel helpless and incredibly weak but am the absolute opposite.
Nobody surviving anxiety and panic is anything less than a warrior!
Anxiety Recovery
It takes the greatest strength one could possibly possess. Many people don’t think they could ever be that strong until it is the only option you have left. This is finding hope. Unwinding the knots, changing the gaze from in to out and moving from surviving to living. This is finding joy. Recognizing hope and joy and believing that life can be more than anxiety and panic that is seeking peace.
Living with Anxiety
Today I live mostly in peace and am eternally grateful for every moment of that sweet relief. Spoiler, anxiety doesn’t just go away however it can be a part of you that you no longer allow to have the power it once did.
That is the greatest battle I have won.
I remain steady in His peace as I run each day into the storm. How did I get here? Stay tuned for more about that and the things I find joy, hope and peace in, each day. Please subscribe.
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