A woman sitting on the edge of her bed in the morning with her head in her hands in angst. Anxiety

Do you wake up with anxiety?

Do you wake up with anxiety?

Many people are so overstimulated that not only do they go to bed that way, but they also wake up with anxiety. Does this sound familiar? You are not alone!

Sleep was my only relief.

There was a time when I looked forward all day to sleeping at night, which was limited. It was my only relief. I was completely exhausted by the state of my mental health, and I knew my only break would come at night while I was sleeping.

Don’t get me wrong, I slept little and woke many times in the middle of the night with a racing heart. However, I was desperate for any break I could get, which came only while I was asleep. I knew I would wake up with anxiety, and the fight for my life would start all over again.

My anxiety thrived in the calm dark night.

As if the day wasn’t hard enough to survive, the night nearly destroyed me. The moment my family fell asleep, I was alone with my demons.

Fighting anxiety and panic and feeling alone while surrounded by people is one thing. Being alone with my thoughts while my family slept nearby was even worse. It was scary to feel so alone while my loved ones were right there with me.

A woman is lying on her side in bed watching her phone. Her arms are curled up under her neck. The room is dark and the glow from the screen illuminates her face.
Photo by ethan on Unsplash

My nightly routine

Alone with my thoughts while the world quietly rested, my anxiety swelled. My nightly routine consisted of mindless TV in bed for hours, trying to switch off my worried thoughts. When I finally started to feel “relaxed” enough, I would lay down and try to fall asleep. Often when my head hit my pillow, my mind percolated with all sorts of alarming thoughts. I would soon sit back up in bed and watch more TV in an attempt to clear my mind. After many failed attempts, at some point, I usually fell asleep.

The nights I managed to fall asleep from exhaustion, I woke back up after a couple of hours. Wide awake with anxiety, I played mindless games to try to tire my relentless mind enough to lie back down. After a total of a few hours of sleep and my only relief from anxiety and panic, morning came. I began each day extremely tired but so wired.

I woke up filled with anxiety and dread

Every day, I would wake up filled with anxiety and panic. Although I was not rested from sleep, I appreciated the pause because it was the only relief I could find, and I desperately craved more.

I was never prepared to deal with the suffocating anxiety I woke up filled with. I started my day with disappointment that the night was over, and dread that I had a full day of trying to survive ahead of me.

Why does this happen?

Cortisol levels are often highest in the morning as a result of the natural circadian rhythm. Otherwise known as the stress hormone, cortisol is also pumped into our bodies in excess during times of intense stress or anxiety.

The Cortisol Awakening Response (CAR) is a natural body response meant to help us wake and prepare for the day ahead. When our stress hormone levels are elevated from stress and anxiety, the CAR can become more troublesome than helpful.

In simple terms, an extreme CAR (Cortisol Awakening Response) is what our bodies are experiencing when we wake up with anxiety. Although waking up with anxiety feels anything but simple, when our mental health is suffering due to it.

What can we do about waking up with anxiety?

Read about how to cope with morning anxiety here.

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The side view of an airplane taking off from an airport. Faith

Trouble Flying

The view through the window of an airplane looking out over the wing. Surrounding the wing of the airplane is a blue sky with white clouds and the sun shining brightly, washing out the color just above the end of the wing.
Photo by Ross Parmly on Unsplash

Trouble Flying

I am not ashamed to admit that I have trouble flying on airplanes. I have not done any digging to find where this stems from. I feel the same about airports and hospitals. I would rather not be in either place. Both take a toll on me. I assume that it has something to do with not liking the crowds and being an empath. Being an empath can be very overwhelming at times. Read more about living as an empath here. (coming soon)

It takes a lot to get me on a plane and even more to be comfortable on one.

Fear of Flying

Early on, I said that I have a fear of flying. At one time, I am sure I did, mostly due to the unknown and having never done it, in the beginning.

I had a hard time, wanting to be in control of things, not having any control, and spiraling into panic. How did I overcome this? I leaned on my faith.

Faith

I do not have the typical fear of flying. Due to my journey and healing, I have developed tremendous faith that carries me through situations such as these. I do not want to die but I do not fear death. Having faith in God is more liberating than I can explain. This is what my most helpful tool was on my recent flights.

I found immense comfort in letting go and letting God handle this situation. I am sensitive to movement and tend to get dizzy and sick easily. I believe this is a trauma response to anxiety symptoms. What is a trauma response? Read more bout that here. (coming soon) Being sensitive to motion also stems from that lack of control issue I mentioned earlier.

But, you say you have healed your anxiety…

Yes, I still deal with this even though I am in a much better place than before. Although you can heal from anxiety, that nosy anxiety monster still tries to weasel his way back in where you are most vulnerable. I have learned to expect it and now come prepared. The good news is that as we heal, it is much harder for anxiety to take control. We become resilient, and our tools become weapons to defend against anxiety. My greatest weapon will always be my faith.

Did I have trouble flying this time?

Let me start by saying the last time I flew, I only made it through by telling myself I never have to do it again. I was so sick and nearly threw up on the plane. I am sure I caused quite a scene by breathing so rapidly. I am surprised I didn’t hyperventilate. Every fluctuation in movement was excruciating. I couldn’t understand how people can be so nonchalant about flying when I felt so terrible.

Well, what do you know, here I was again faced with flying. I could have let that traumatic experience shut me down and just given up. Instead, I became empowered. That last terrible experience was several years before the height of my anxiety and panic. In fact, I didn’t even realize until recently that my experience was likely caused by anxiety. I made the decision to face the situation head on.

Was it challenging? Yes. Did I survive? Yes. Am I proud of myself? Hell Yes! Would I do it again? Also yes!

Several things that helped my trouble flying

  1. Prayer -I prayed daily in preparation.
  2. Noise cancelling earbuds -I listened to my praise playlist, which I titled “My Strength” and it was nothing short of it!
  3. Focused breathing -read about my favorite technique here.
The view through the window of an airplane. Inside the window, the plane is dark. A dark shadow surrounds the inside of the window. Through the window, the wing is visible as a black silhouette with a light lit up on the end of the wing. The sky is blue through the upper portion of the window and changes into a red sunset with clouds towards the bottom half of the window.
Photo by Leonardo Yip on Unsplash

I prayed, I praised God and… I did it!

(Coming soon) Click here for more on how to prepare to fly with anxiety.

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